Saturday, February 27, 2010

I Did It!..................with a little help!

Well I finally got my PlayPals site opened. I hope you will take a look at my dolls, only two today but more will follow as will other play therapy tools. This doll-making thing has brought me lots of happiness and at present time I have made by hand 678 that are out in the world and there are 20 here with me in my house. You can see three of them, two on and one on my intentionalbeauty site, Take a look, have some laughs and share the news with your friends!

I am now officially pooped out! A glass of wine and good movie, done for the day!

Good night,

Wednesday, February 24, 2010

"Live with intention, create beauty, embrace the positive, let the rest go".............

That's my least that is what I have been calling this particular collection of words I hope describe how I've chosen to live my life............which has been in practice for a very long time now.................. Not done yet!.......... in process and in practice. It's a work, in progress.

I used to giggle when I would have to recite the girl scout "motto", I'd roll my eyes....blah blah blah..............I looked up "motto" in Webster's dictionary and this is what it says. 1 : a sentence, phrase, or word inscribed on something as appropriate to or indicative of its character or use 2 : a short expression of a guiding principle. So after much floundering in my life I decided to commit......................this is my inscribed phrase, my motto, how I roll!

"Live with Intention, Create Beauty, Embrace the Positive, Let the Rest Go"

Motto-bound and glancing, back I realize that I have been formulating 'my guiding principles' for a long time. Figuring out how I fit into the picture...........wondering "what picture?" and finding finally... MY PICTURE, my life.......what does that mean to me? The search seems to me to have taken a long time but I see that everything I have done has been 'information gathering' to support this moment of understanding and knowing. All the struggle and the difficulties I had perceived were building blocks for the creation of this "way to be in the world", my way.

I think the perceived "struggles and difficulties" were my way then of trying to do things the "right way", the way I was supposed to do things as a woman, an artist, a partner, and a parent. After all I'd spent a lot of time watching and learning in my family, in school, on the job, and even in play. It was not only hard on was really hard on those who struggled tried to teach me how to be in the world. Challenging as it was, I could not or would not do anything the way I was supposed to! I always wanted to do it MY WAY! Unable to know at that time, what my way was and feeling guilty about that, I began to just do it the way I was told [fake it till you make it, in a sense] is that boring and all categories. As I moved through my world in "expected ways" I felt cramped, icky; like a freak! I would see peeks of the real me throughout this evolution and they made me laugh. Little by little I would allow myself more "me" and I became fond of that freedom. It still never just emerged as independence until I flung myself into creating my own kind of art!

When I had that epiphany I quit my job and locked myself in my apartment to create. I didn't even allow myself to view other peoples are, I felt that I had to create my own art my way. I found that the solitude was important and necessary to get into the place of being ok with creating but the total isolation was more about ego. This was the first opportunity for me to define myself as an artist and to find materials that I loved to work with. I was able to achieve some recognition in my medium and it moved me forward in ways I had only dreamed about but had been afraid to act on. I did find that after a period of time, I was not quite ready to be that independent and got a little scared. I wasn't mature or evolved enough to do it 'my way' at that time.

I had always wanted to be "alone" and "allowed" to think. I was rarely alone or allowed to just ponder........that was perceived as being lazy; lazy was bad! I have come to rely on private time, whether it is in the car [man am I smart and creative in my car] or in my home. It is some of the most important time for me.............I understand now that solitude for me is not being anti-social, it is regeneration and a re-charge. I love quiet and I love space; two things that took a while to understand and to acquire.

Do you look back and ponder your evolution? Any comments?

Saturday, February 20, 2010

Can You Believe It?!

Since I got such a late start as a parent and having taken 27 years to get my BS I can hardly believe that my children are so "on track" with their education! I couldn't be more proud and impressed with their tenacity. This shot of them was from a very long time ago but the picture was set in the center of the candy we used during our cake competition this past Thanksgiving! They still actually hold those same expressions much of the time, today!

Yesterday, after a very grueling presentation my amazing daughter put forth her "Portfolio" and argued it's relevance! It sounds as though the panel she presented to were very tough and a bit challenged by her premise. According to her employer who had been asked to sit on the panel for this year's round of graduate students, said that my daughter [the one rolling her eyes] was "brilliant" and did very well; didn't buckle under the pressure of the panel's daunting questions. So, in a few weeks, she will be a graduate with an MLIS, a Masters in Library Information ???? with an opportunity to make more money and support me in the style which I would love to become accustomed to!

My son will be completing his BA or BS this Fall with a major in Business and a minor in Criminal something............justice or criminology????? and will be a "three time winner; a small business, a college graduate, and a licensed real estate agent!"

I always knew my kids were cute and funny, loving life and laughing out loud............but who knew they were so dang smart?!!! Where'd they get that? their ages I was working in a bar schmoozing with local bankers to increase my tips on Friday lunches! I had little to no 'grown-up' direction [had some fun] but knew that one day I would have to make a turn somewhere.............but where?

So allow this momma to brag just a wee bit today and maybe this Fall:) Congratulations to my amazing children. I love you and I am proud of you!! Maybe they adopted me!?

Wednesday, February 10, 2010

Progress and Beauty................

1. Dolls in progress and I am energized by them; incorporating some new surprise there..........right? That's how "I roll". Always something new to make my life interesting and exciting.

2. Lightening the load.................almost every closet and drawer has now been gone over with a discerning eye; what do I need, what do I love, what will I use in the next year! Wow........trip after trip to the second-hand store; most intentional donations..........a few not intentional-but you know there must be some very happy warm person who now dons my heavy winter coat saying thank you! I have to say that my children were instrumental in helping me to see that it is time to clean out and trim down "things". They remind me to be my best self I need to give away what I don't need.

3. Creative endeavors are increasing. Public Do's are a good way for me to use my creative energies. Allowing my creative ideas to be shared in hopes of becoming a better problem solver myself and sharing that along the way. I believe it is also a way to allow mistakes to happen and the practice of not sweating over it! Live it wear it share it!!!


It's everywhere! I just have to allow myself to relax enough to see it...........that's easier some days than others but that too, is a work in progress. Right outside my back door, the icicles are forming as the warmth of the day hits the snow everywhere! Beauty IS everywhere if I take a moment to look up.
Two very different shots.................both, in my mind..............beautiful! Taken within minutes of each other, same day!

I hope that you enjoy them too. Off to create beauty my way...........................isn't that a song?

Monday, February 1, 2010

The Fog Lifted !

Good Morning!
The frost was so thick early this morning that I could barely see the Aging Venus or the trees. In fact, it was thick and very foggy..............when the fog "burned off"as they say in the Valley, this is what I found! I wanted to share it with you. Today, is an inside day, a creative day. I hope that you have that too.